Do you sometimes feel out of place in fancy restaurants?
Half Drawn Boy posted:
I enjoy very good dinner, but sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. I feel silly ordering a menu that is written entirely in Italian or French. A little over a game and pretend to know what I'm asking and then hide my surprise when I bring my food. They also hate having to try the wine. What is the point of that? Anyone has ever returned a bottle of wine after the test? Each also appears in these restaurants twice my age. Do you feel the same elegant joints?
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We just don’t do Posh restaurants, I just find them generally annoying.
I can take a fancy place once in a while…for the most part I can only comment on your wine question…I have sent wine back twice in my lifetime…once, the bottle (some delicious Spanish wine) was “corked” which means “spoiled” and since that bottle cost $30 you bet I was glad I did the tasting before the waiter poured it…the second time, I sent the bottle back because the dumb waitress brought it out to our table, set it down un-opened, said “there you go” and walked away! Unbelievable! She didn’t even bring the correct wine! Remeber, YOU are the one they need to please…if you can afford a posh restaurant once in a while, go, but only if you ENJOY the food and atmosphere…you’ll get used to it and learn to relax the more you do it.
The only restaurant I have ever felt intimidated was Scalinatella in NYC… the food is awesome but the waiters act as though they are doing you a favor..Personally, I feel that a great resteraunt should try to be as welcoming as your own moms kitchen.
First, anyone twice my age is 6 feet under. I ask for English translations. If there isn’t a translated menu then the waiter must read and translate for me. I don’t drink wine. I don’t like upgrade fiascoes because they charge more than the food is worth and I’m not into paying for the milieu at a restaurant. I like the Golden Arches better.
If the menu’s written in another language, usually I can’t afford it anyway. But to answer your question, with age I’ve developed a willingness to look foolish and not care. If I don’t understand something on the menu, I ask. If I have to ask about every item, I will. It’s my money, and I don’t buy something if I don’t know what it is. I’ve seen people send wine back on TV, but never in real life. Most of my wine comes in a box, so I wouldn’t know good or bad wine if it bit me on the butt.
We ladies have it easier HD, we can say. . .” I’ll just have what you are having”, and they never ask us to test the wine when a gentleman is present. . . . but you should see us three hours earlier, trying to find something to wear, and pulling out hair out trying to find the left shoe that matches the right one, that we want to wear ! ! I guess it is just give and take ! ! !
When I was a child my parents would take me to eat at really nice family restaurants, then in my teens we went to formal restaurants about once a month so I could learn the correct manners and learn to observe how things were done and people interacted. I’m very happy for my early exposure to these things. I’m happy for that.
As for the wine I’ve sent back a bottle or two, but as a whole it’s not a bother, if you understand what it’s about.
I’ve found that I know enough French or Italian to decipher what the menu choices are. Just learn a few terms like beef, fish, chicken in various languages and French and Italian are very similar. You can always ask about any off menu specials which they will explain in detail or feign allergies and ask how a dish is prepared.
As to the wine, I’m more of a by the glass person. My hubby isn’t a wine drinker and if I were to drink the whole bottle alone, I don’t think I’d care what it tasted like by the time I was finished. You’d be picking my head out of my plate.
What I hate are expensive places that don’t give you good service or that the staff is condescending (or hovers so much I feel they ought to just pull up a chair and join us). We’ve also gotten some very expensive dinners that were very small in portion (although delicious
) and my husband was looking for a spot to stop on the way home to get more to eat.
I really prefer a middle of the road place that is locally owned with a great chef. I’ve found lots of hidden gems in our town and would rather eat there than in the gourmet expensive well known places.
I have never dined in a French restaurant and have never been offered to test the wine. These are times being a woman is very nice.
I haven’t seen the inside of a posh restaurant since my Father died. No, I have never been made to feel out of place.
I don’t do the posh joints — the food is too expensive for the servings and I truly don’t care to mingle with pretentious po’ folk nor high brow types. I’m just a common tater.
My son-in-law & daughter treat hubby & I to very lovely & expensive restaurant’s.
I leave the ordering to my son-in law and have never been disappointed.
I sit back as if I’m dripping in diamonds & wrapped in mink.
I smile & enjoy the beauty & environment of each place they treat us to.
Every occasion is very special & appreciated.
Thank you for asking & Blessings to you.—-
I’ve felt that way before. I’ve dined in restaurants where the waiter/waitress are pretentious, I get the feeling they have a need to feel more knowledgeable than me which isn’t that hard to accomplish. When that happens I just realize this is just some regular person probably making minimum wage. I have nothing against anyone who works to earn an honest living but the silly pretentious stuff bugs me. After all, we’re all just human beings and money or status doesn’t change that fact. We all put our pants on one leg at a time.
I speak French and some Italian, also a little German, so I have no problem reading menus. Testing the wine is a time-honored tradition that assures that the customer gets not only the wine ordered, but that it is a good wine that hasn’t gone off. Yes, wine has been sent back after being tested, because it may have gone off. Wine turns to vinegar if it has sat around too long.
I really enjoy fancy restaurants, because I go to them so rarely. It is a real treat for me. Most waiters speak English, even in Europe. You can always ask the waiter to tell you what is on the menu. I understand how you feel, however. Some menus do have translations. A lot of people can’t read what’s on the menu. You are not alone.
I quit going to fancy restaurants when Jack in The Box discontinued their wine list.
As far as I am concerned my money is as good as anyone’s I earned it. I do agree about the wine though, a bit pretentious Isn’t it ?
Testing the wine can be really fun! It’s about more than just being snobby. In a fancy restaurant, where you might be ordering an older, expensive bottle of wine, you’ve got to be sure that it’s still good. Even new wine spoils. I got a bottle of white wine once that was totally off… YUCK!
Head down to a local wine shop that does tastings. They’ll have a featured wine or two to try, and they’ll take you through all the steps, telling you what you’re supposed to smell, etc. When you go to a restaurant, even if you don’t see that particular bottle on the wine list, you’ll know more about the type of wine you tried. (PS. If you can say to the sommelier, “I tried X shiraz the other day and enjoyed it, can you recommend something similar?” you’re in.)
And really, just a little swish and taste to be sure the bottle’s not off will suffice – you don’t HAVE to go through the whole sniff, cork-smelling, etc.
I generally enjoy fancy restaurants because I like eating good food, being treated well, and doing something out of the ordinary. If you’re presented with a menu you don’t understand, ask the waiter for help, or just say, “Can you recommend a chicken dish?” or “Which beef dish does the chef recommend?” Upscale waiters are generally trained to know about the food coming out of the kitchen.
At the end of the day, remember that there is something you’re great at, that you can do with your eyes closed, that would send these waiters and chefs running in fear. It might be intimidating on their turf, but they’re there to make you happy and you should just enjoy it.
Fancy restaurants staffed by snots drives me wild!
In one instance the waiter was such a B.S. artist that I ordered
liver, and told him I wanted an end-cut. He duly marked it down. A few minutes later the chef came out and gave me holy s–t !!.
It was worth it
As for wine, once I returned a bottle and its replacement. That
brought out the owner too. He tasted it in front of the guests and
declared it “fully satisfactory”. I stuck to my guns… there’s a point
when you just know they’re trying to con you.
Not so long ago the restaurant reviewer for our paper rated a
restaurant with 1/2 star out of 5. She said they only got the 1/2
because one harried waiter tried to fix a mess on her plate, and
was polite. Boy, did that hit the nail on the head. One of the other major dislikes was that the restaurant had 2 menus: one
for tourists (with higher prices) and one for locals, but it was up
to the customer to know that. Otherwise, the higher price is
what you got
Wild horses wouldn’t drag the name of the Wharfside Restaurant
in Victoria B.C. from my lips.
Good question ! Have a star.
I have never dined in a fancy restaurant but I’m sure I would feel completely out of place. I prefer the small cafes with the family type atmosphere.
Great question…we are not much for fancy restaurants Memaws BBQ is about as high class as we get and I say we probably fit right in.
We don’t do posh joints for those reasons and more. Do not like that feeling and cannot enjoy the experience.
yes, i know how you feel.
I would ask for a menu in english, as I always like to know what I am eating.
No posh nosh for me.
My husband refuses to go to upscale dining because he goes out to eat and not look at art which is what the food in those places looks like. We went to one about forty years ago and he sat counting the peas on his plate,six to be exact. We prefer Oriental buffet.
ok all my b.s. aside please don’t feel out of place some times i think they purposely print the menu in Italian just to cover up the fact the food sucks and the restaurants are really just ho hum the best Italian meal i ever had was in a cinder block building on a back road in the mountains of tenn. after eating course after course of wonderful food and paying the check i used the restroom on the walls was a framed newspaper article about the owner who had owned a 5 star Italian restaurant in miami fl.while on vacation he feel in love with the tenn mountains sold his restaurant in fl. and moved to tenn where he is only open 3 days a week cooking every dish him self using fresh ingredients
If you feel uncomfortable, just go to burger doodle and eat in the car.
I guess I’ve never been in a place that posh. But nobody dresses for anything anymore, not even for funerals. Even in the ‘fancier’ restaurants, few if any of the customers dress in anything more than everyday clothes, men still have their caps on when eating, women are in jeans. These same people drive the most expensive vehicles sold in the US, but they all dress like they just got done feeding the cattle, no matter where they go. So, no, I could never feel out of place.
I always think you need to go to New York City or London or Paris to find really posh restaurants.
Yes, I have sent back a bottle of wine. Just like anything wine can go bad. If you do not know what you are ordering why are you going? If you do not like Italian or French food go some where else. I go all kinds of restaurants and I order what I know and what I like. Ask the waiter to tell you what it says. You do not have to test the wine if do do not want too. If you buy a 300.00 bottle of I would check the label and taste but that just me.
Quite out of place,yes. On two instances have I dined out to a four-star restaurant, both times in shorts. I know the family who used to own it before it was sold and they are still working there, so it wasn’t too bad considering my evening attire. However, catching the stare of everyone in the room for the wrong reason made me sweat in my collar, more so than I already was.
Fancy restaurants are quite intimidating to anyone inexperienced, as I have been unable to visit my friends at the restaurant because I would scare the customers, entering in shorts and possibly drenched in sweat. (How embarrassing!)
Fancy Greek restaurants are nice, but lower level dining and stinky Mexican food is a-okay for me. That way, there’s no worry about wine since they don’t even offer it to you IF they serve it.
Not a problem for me, I can’t afford anything more expensive than the Golden Corral.
Only when they bring me the, “bill”.
We haven’t been able to go to a fancy restaurant since we retired. But
back in our early days, we did go to a few when an occasion called
for it. I never felt ill at ease. I felt they were there to serve and please
me. And if their service happened to be underpar, then their tip would
be much less than expected.
When we rarely go out now, it’s to an Asian buffet for the huge
variety of entrees that keep bringing customers back for more. Guaran-
teed, everyone leaves happy with smiles on their faces.
No me – am too adventurous! I feel more uncomfortable at the local cafeteria! I like to be served in a restaurant (Posh or otherwise) – and if I do not know about a wine – I consult the Vintner. I understand both French and Italian – so the menu is of little consequence. So do not let your pride get in the way of enjoying a fine meal in an excellent restaurant. Remember HDB – there is no such thing as a dumb question!
Good Q – have a star!
CJ
I love fancy restaurants. I like the food, the service and the ambiance, It’s nice to get dressed up and go to a very nice place where you can relax, talk, and take two or three hours for dinner.
In the past, I have been there – done that on a few occasions and endured it.
My preference was to dine where good food was served in a comfortable home like atmosphere.
My favorite place was where I knew the proprietor and he usually came and sat with us long enough to see that we were taken care of and always checked back with us.
Never sent back a bottle of wine, but we did complain about the cheap Scotch.
I haven’t dined out for over six years, but since we know the proprietor, he puts together a very nice meal for us occasionally for take out.
We provide the candle lite.
DeeJay.
No problem for me I don`t do posh restaurants. Gourmet food is not my cup of tea. No food on the plate is worth $100, not to mention the wine and tips. Give me a nice Italian restaurant or a decent steak house that`s as ritzy as I care to get. You should try it sometime.
I have rarely done the fine dining………guess I’m more down to earth, like the mom and pops and smaller places.
LOL, but you are right, have never seen anyone taste the wine and say that’s terrible.
I do ok, with the Italian, as I can speak and read it, but the French menu, I have no fear in asking, what is that, and what does it have in it.
Believe me, probably more of the people would be glad that you did ask, as they probably are doing what you do, simply playing along.
I dont feel out of place, no matter where I am
; )
Yea, I’ve always felt uncomfortable in fancy restaurants–I even hate having to get all dressed up just to go eat (I can stand a little dressing up but ties and real shoes, ugh). I kind of like surprise foods so don’t have much of a problem with whatever is brought, although sometimes I have no idea how I’m supposed to eat whatever it is (like your first encounter with an artichoke–do you use a fork and knife, fingers, what?) but I figure as long as I’m not making too much of a mess and am trying to be tidy, I’m ok. I have a tendency to ask the waiter/waitress what is good tonight and just go with that. I don’t mind tasting the wine–my mouth knows what it likes and I don’t care whether it’s won prizes or is some obscure nobody wine. I don’t like choosing a wine, not good at that. And I seriously hate having to tip the head waiter, the multiple wait persons, etc. And I seldom notice the other diners except to spy out what everyone else is eating (and it all looks good from afar; I always want to saunder over and go, “excuse me, I saw the waiter bringing out your order and wondered what it is?” but I don’t usually). I am much happier eating at restaurants that aren’t so fancy; food tastes just as good (a lot of time, better) and I feel more relaxed.
No I like to dress up once in a while and be treated special. My favorite restaurant is the Cliff House three miles north of San Francisco on a cliff overlooking the pacific ocean.
No I don’t, but my husband does.
If you don’t know what something is, just ask, a lot of people do and you will be a lot more respected if you don’t try to impress.
Just be natural and you will feel a lot better. Don’t be intimidated, they are there to serve you, not the other way around.